The Three R's

Well as much as I love Reduce Reuse Recycle, they are not the three R's i'm thinking about.

Try: Reflect, Regroup, Restructure

Lets start out with me saying that this might sound like an emo rant but it's not at all. It really is more of a "huh...well that's interesting" and less of a "hand me that razor me wrists need some lovin".

In middle school when hormones started raging and people (including myself) started coupling off I realized that this couple thing was going to be different for me. It was then I started matching people or agreeing to put in the good word with some social connection (social connection? it was 8th grade). I had a couple of relationships myself but I was always more focused on seeing what I could do to get that one girl to muster the courage to ask that special guy to dance to whatever Usher music video was being projected in the multi-purpose room.

My first year of high school I pin pointed why the relationship thing was different for me. I decided that the romantic side of life was just not a possibility for high school and I worked on other couples instead. Over the four years of high school I was a combination of Gossip Girl and Mean Girls without the money, technology, or fashion. There was a hilarious series of scandalous rumors, notes passed, and late night phone conversations. I became sort of a low profile social butterfly who just happened to be friends with a lot of different people and could spread information from group to group.

I continued in the thick of things with relationships and then senior year, with my position as a writer for the newspaper, I turned my attentions to what I could do to diagnose the problems on campus. These habits transferred to college where everything grew to a bigger scale. Scandal was more. Setting of relationships became less about someone to eat lunch with and more about the perfect match for future marriage, the late night phone conversations became later, and the amount of on campus issues to address grew as well.

Today in a professor's office I said that next year I want to relieve myself of my self-appointed duty of saving the world. I want to be more a student and less of a faculty member so that I could focus on preparing myself for post-college life. While I love my degree program and my school, a year from now the nuts and bolts of curriculum and school procedure will no longer pertain to me. It will just be me and my resume, hitting the pavement trying to find work. While discussing this with said professor, I got distracted and ended up dissecting some School of Theatre Arts issue and trying to think of potential solutions. Old habits are effing hard to break.

Anyways I guess I realized that my life would have half the dramatic discussions and my calendar would really open up if I just focused on myself and my list of priorities.

Does this sound arrogant and martyrish? Probably, and I apologize. I think this is a good goal to put into writing and hope that one day I figure out how to execute it. Maybe it's possible to be a good friend and not a solutions manual. Maybe not. I guess we'll see how this all works out.

P.S. Tucson...You're effing hot.

Typos... I mean they happen...

I have a rule about this blog where I don't really go back and fix things even read over past entries because it just doesn't feel like that sort of thing. If I were forced to rename it I would probably pick something like Spaghetti On The Wall or Word Vomit or something like that.

Anyways now that I've addressed that I'm in a bit of a pickle. (PS One time I left a jar of pickles on Nikko's couch over night and then tried to eat one the next afternoon...it was so wrong). Without going into too many details, I could potentially be standing at the precipice of a big decision (yes. I did indeed type the lyric from The Last 5 Years into google to make sure I was spelling precipice correctly). It involves my summer and many thrilling opportunities that I am very thankful to be a part of. Some part of me died a little when I realized that I was probably going to be the only one home. Still working that high school job. There was a the moment of question myself and my skill set. I wondered why everyone had the will and financial support to try something else. Why am I, once again, the one who can't afford it and therefore has to settle. Well almost instantly some doors opening but each of them with a price. I've set up an appointment to talk to Christin about it which I think will play a huge role in my decision making...but there's someone else I'm going to call on. My dad. It's weird but something tells me that he'll have a good idea of what to say. In a roundabout (oy) way my father is partially the reason for the pickle and the dichotomy of work theory and logic with the confines of my mind. He always told me to CHASE MY DREAMS! and reminded me that I'M ONLY YOUNG ONCE! However now that I am slightly less young there is the issue of money.

So though I've given you little detail here's what's on the horizon. Will Kevin chose career over financial stability? Will act against his mother and risk it all for what may be an undiscovered dream? Will Kevin finish his STUPID MODEL AND PAPER THAT ARE DUE ON THE SAME AWFUL DAY (totally unrelated but I just had to get that out there)?????

Stay Tuned/Toned/ and Terrfic.

New Haircut. New Life.

Please excuse the extremely cliche and title but it did just kind of work out that way.

I guess it all started in History of Musical Theatre. Where else right? Christin made a totally rash and unsupported statement about Prince Eric having awful hair. It seemed criminal but in the end it was pretty evocative (typical Christin). After some conversation with Nikko later that night, it was decided for me that my long hair had run its course.

Cut to the morning of the following Saturday I'm sitting in in a hysterical established called Style America. Not gonna lie, it was hood. There was multi-colored weave in the window and two cholas that were cuttin' hur. Now the last time I had a haircut in Tucson it was at the chic Ric Erickson salon. The experiences were complete polar opposites. The brilliant girl who cut my hair at Style America had no reason to sugar coat her thoughts on my hair. Some favorites were "What have you been thinking" "If your hair gonna go, It's gonna go" "Ugh You looks SO much better. You're welcome." While my aesthetic may not have been her favorite...they were all about Nikko. Of course.

I was really flattered by people's responses to the new look, but have you ever noticed that when you change your style people make it sound like you've looked like a maimed ogre for the past 10 years?
Rude.

But wait the changes aren't over yet. I took a big step and started going to Betsy's pilates class which is hard but totally fun. I accept that I look awful when I'm doing but it's enjoyable.

Anyways I thought this would be a good time to return to the blog. I need to get into the habit of non-academic writing.

Keep it real but don't forget your inner diva. She's in there somewhere.